Saturday 28 August 2010

I get am for drama sha!

Here are a selection of passionate emails I wrote to ex lovers... bored and going through my emails I thought I'd share. Enjoy!
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27 April 2007

Dear F,
This morning I woke up and I decided that today was going to be my day. A day where only my happiness mattered and every other thing was secondary. Which is why today, I am expelling you from my life. There's nothing left for you here, no love, no sympathy, no friendship, no time, nothing. From this moment on, please lose my number and don't bother replying to this email, it won't be read. Don't text me and don't call. Just stay where you are let me stay where I am.
For clarity's sake, I'll tell you why. Yesterday was your biggest display yet of how inconsiderate and thoughtless you can be. Yes I didn't say anything because if I had, I would have said too much. Even now, I am not angry, just severely disappointed and to tell the truth I feel a little sorry for you. I took the £40 you gave me, and decided that spending it on a night out with you was a good idea. I didn't go shopping, I didn't buy food, I didn't adrdress my phone bill. I just decided to go out with you. Then you turn around and say, "I'm not coming back after the interval". When asked why, you replied "because I am not enjoying it". That right there is where the problem lies. It's always about you. I could have been enjoying myself, you don't know or should I say you don't really care. How many times have I done things with you that I wouldn't dream of doing in a million years? I have done things I cannot even mention in this email, pushed my personal boundaries just to go with you on your journey through life.
The one time I take a bold step and try to claim an evening for myself, do something I am interested in, that was what I got. That was rude, inappropriate, inconsiderate and downright mean. It wouldn't have killed you to even pretend to enjoy yourself if only not to seem rude. That's why people go far. In this life, it's all a little give and take. All that attitude of me, me, me gets you nowhere. It was not cool and it is disgraceful behaviour.
I don't need or want an apology, you're the least of my worries right now. I hurt for the days gone by but frankly, I am glad I have mustered up the strength to put you where you belong - out. This is it, I'm gone for good. I know I wasn't perfect but damn it I cared. I actually gave a sh*t. I cared about you, your career, your child, your problems, your weight everything. Right now, I'm exhausted from giving you so much and receiving so little in return. For months, I've put up with you calling me no more often than a regular booty call, you disappearing without explanation, you texting all sorts of women on your phone, you dismissing me when you're not in the mood for me, you keeping secrets, you subjecting me to your excesses be it drink or otherwise but finally, I see the finish line and the race is over. Last week should have given you a clue into my general state of mind into how I was currently feeling about you (feelings I put aside to reach out to you on this issue of you looking for work) but not even that was enough to muster up any effort from you.
So without further ado, I say goodbye and good luck. You're going to need it. I happily flounce into my future which is bright and lovely especially as you are no longer blocking my sun.
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Sent: 21 June 2005 16:55
To: Mr Love Triangle
Subject: Enough

Just wanted you to know that I've had it with your derogatory attitude. I've had enough of your arrogance thinking you're better than everybody else and practically worshipping those you consider to be the truly 'made'. I'm so disappointed in you because for someone with such humble beginnings one would think that your head would be in the right place.

I hate the way you make me feel about myself, how small and dismissive you can be. I am taking back my freedom from you, I've truly had enough Mr Love Triangle (or whatever your name is these days)! Please just leave me alone. Keep to your high and mighty job and your high and mighty, house buying, flashy car driving friends. Just remember, we all came to this world with nothing and that's exactly how we're going to leave it. you can't take it with you.


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After that bust up, we didn't talk to each other for months then one day, he sent me an email out of the blue saying are you ok? I responded saying "If you miss me just say so". This is what he said:


From:Mr. Love Triangle
Sent: 09 December 2005 15:53
Subject: RE: Details



haa, I don't miss you at all!! I was just making sure you are OK. miss you
ke, should I be missing you after spending the last 4years of my life with
you. Which I must say was (hmm what's the word am locking for)............
of course I miss you. If I didn't do you think I would have called you not
only that then ask you out. What kind of statement is that 'just say you
miss me' . I more that miss you my girl. Anyway we wont go there.....

Cool, meeting me after work sounds good what time do you finish? I finish
for 5pm. where do you want to meet me?

We can go to my house pick up the tapes and I can drop you home (you
drive).

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What I call a 3.5yr saga was actually more than 6yrs long by the time the curtain came down last year. Long time to have been underg. Till this day, you dear reader and a priveleged few are the only ones that know.



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